…goes together like a horse and carriage

Social conservatives blame premarital sex, but the real reason divorce rates keep climbing may in fact be the old lady in Delivered. This is not affectionate nagging; this is actual abuse. You will want to hug your grandfather after seeing this movie, and you’ll secretly resent your grandmother, even though she’s a sweet lady who bakes a mean rhubarb pie and wishes you would call more. Seriously, Delivered will be shown in parking lots at roadside chapels in Vegas to elopers to “scare them straight”.

Filmmaker Phil Allocco did a damn good job and should be commended for it, as well as for his awesome life. He was a contestant on “On the Lot”, Steven Spielberg’s reality show. He was also the guitarist in metal band Law & Order, which may explain any hostility towards marriage. Groupies tend not to yell at rock stars for not taking out the trash.

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